Quote:
Originally Posted by CrewCut
I posted a while back about my relationship anxiety that I have dealt with for quite a while. I was divorced 11 years ago, absolutely devastated by the experience and haven't dated much since. About a year ago I met a wonderful woman and fell in love with her. After about 6 months, I got scared and I did not know why. It took me a while to figure out that I have relationship anxiety.
Over the last few months, I started cognitive-talk therapy with a wonderful therapist. The guy has been a huge help to me in trying to figure out why I feel this way, and to develop ways to deal with my fears. I also started taking BusPro which has calmed me down some also.
Anyway, I am not out of the woods, but I do believe there is hope for me. It is a shame that I am dating such a sweet woman, and I am scared to death of getting to close to her!  |
You don't have relationship anxiety -- you have PAST relationship anxiety
Try to live
in the moment with this new woman and appreciate what she brings to the table and to you and whether or not she is meeting your needs for a relationship. Talk to her about your fears, your hopes, your dreams. It is very unfair for her to have to "carry" the sins of the ex-wife or problems in that marriage or even things from farther back than that.
Not only that, she may unknowingly, be doing or saying things that in some way "resemble" things that the ex did or said. When you're being triggered, try to talk to this woman so she understands too.