Hi I'm Worth It,

I have been very honest with my girlfriend about it. At first, I had no idea what was going on with me. We would be having a wonderful time and suddenly, I wanted to run away. I just could not figure it out and it put a huge strain on the relationship.

I then decided I needed to figure some things out. I started reading some good books, and got a good therapist and things started to make more sense.

My 19 year marriage was pretty bad. My ex cheated on me several times and blamed me for it. I know I was a good husband (and faithful) but I would hear things like, "If you were better, I would not do this!". I don't mean to come across as a "victim" but the things she did really knocked my self-esteem in the gutter and also left me thinking subconsciously that all relationships must be bad.

My girlfriend is the complete opposite of my ex. She is happy with life, devoted to her son and is completely faithful. For some reason, she thinks I am wonderful also!

So basically, I lived with a lying, cheating spouse for 19 years but when I find a wonderful woman, I get scared. How screwed up is that????

Again, I have been very honest with my girlfriend and she is very understanding.