Quote:
Originally Posted by whyguitar
I am lost. I have known this woman for over two years. I am going through a separation. She is widowed. While we were friends she started dating an old friend of mine. The relationship is bad, but she wants to see it through. Meanwhile while trying to help her with that relationship - we fell in love. We cannot seem to stay apart. We have tried. We are not having any physical relations, but I love her with all my heart. She knows. She has tried to push me away, but keeps coming back because we are so close and our lives are so intertwined. I am lost. I want to win her. She is not happy, and admits it, but won't leave him no matter what he does. Help me survive this!
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You survive it by setting boundaries.
You: "Hey bae, you know I have feelings for you and you have feelings for me. And you claim to be miserable in your relationship with this guy. So, dump him and move on to me. You have 2 days."
Girl: "But... but... it's so hard to make this decision."
You: "Two days."
There's a reason she's seeing it through with this guy and not going for you. Either she's not as miserable as she says she is with this guy (people complain for attention and validation) or she sees him as a better relationship prospect than you. Either way, you give an ultimatum (for rhetorical purposes) and move on. Have some self-respect and put your dignity above everything else. You're going to ruin your confidence being stuck in this sort of thing. Just my two cents- been there, done that, learned the lesson and grew stronger.
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