((((((((hopeful, pachyderm, littlemouse)))))))))))))

thank you for your comments!

hopeful - do i feel ready to go back to work? NO! but i don't know how i can not go back?

pachyderm - you are right....i do worry they know more than they can know...it's just our office is only 13 people - who i've worked with for 2 to 3 years...i've said i was having issues with anxiety and my bp spiked (which is all true) but i wonder if that will be enough? several commented prior to my hospitalization that i was acting funny and asked what was wrong...

littlemouse - thank you for sharing your experience! i'm glad it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be!! there's no one there i feel comfortable telling...

one of my main concerns is that stresses at work and tensions with my boss (i really think she was planning to fire me) were one of the main causes of my SI...i'm afraid i may not be able to get back into the swing of things so to speak....i feel resentment toward my boss....the work is hard and stressful and i don't know if my focus will be there...i'm a mess....a stupid mess....

but i guess there's nothing i can do about it...monday is monday....i have an appt with a psychiatrist monday afternoon and then thursday i have an appt w a therapist. both these appts were made while i was in the hospital - so i don't know them - never met them....which is adding to my stress....

oh well - that's life i guess....

thank you again for taking the time to comment....it helps!