So instead of seeing my doctor, I wound up going inpatient the night I wrote this. My "demon" came back with a vengeance, commanding me to harm myself. I wound up cutting on my legs, with instructions to get a better instrument to do a more thorough job. My sister guided me to going to her house for refuge until my husband could get home and take me to the hospital. I've been there the past four days.

The doctor there put me on Trilafon, which seems to be doing the trick. My demon went away, and the clouds cleared. Now I'm home again, with a much better outlook on life.

Thank you for your comments. Shmooey, I agree that having Schizoaffective and DID is a hard thing. I see you have PTSD as well. I used to have that, too. But after a couple years of therapy, that's pretty much resolved. So there's hope!