Rainbow, whether it's hard or not, you need to find the courage to be honest with your health care team. They can't properly help you if they don't know the extent of your depression, and you'd be working against yourself to hide it.

The right face to show the hospital is "your face." The truth. There's no reason to lie, is there? All of the things you are afraid to admit to are common as dirt for people like us, and old hat to them. They've seen all that and much worse. It'll be all "ho hum" for them... just another day at work.

But not for you. For you, this is huge. It is your life and your recovery. Don't cheat yourself of help by hiding your feelings or worrying about what face to show them. I try to just always tell it like it is. It's liberating, and much easier than the exhausting work of maintaining pretence.

Remember that they are your feelings, and these are your experiences-- and they are valid and they are important. Get in touch with that and be confident telling your truth. It'll get easier with practise... I promise :-)

We are here for you ((((((((HUG)))))))))

Lisa