Don't feel frightened if you don't show emotion or can't "grieve" like anybody else who lost a loved one; it doesn't make you a bad person.

My emotionally abusive narcissistic of a mother passed away a couple of years ago and honestly, I feel relieved. I didn't show any emotion at her funeral which I only went to because of pressure from relatives that were supporting me and only because I didn't want to be "cut off" nor did I shed a single tear over her; she wasn't worth it to me.

Don't get me wrong, I have grieved. But said grieving wasn't about her but my abusive past that I felt that I could finally begin healing from. She controlled my whole life even when her health took a turn to the worst and because I couldn't hold a regular job because of how mentally unstable I was from her abuse, I HAD to live with her until she passed away because I needed financial support.