My Support Forums - View Single Post - How can I get over and help her deal with her past?

gmanburst · 05:19 PM

I'm in a long-term relationship with a wonderful woman. We've been dating for roughly 7 months now. Me and her met when we were younger and fell in love. Unfortunately we weren't able to make things work at the time (mainly it was my fault for not being able to commit). A few years later we crossed paths again and here we are. As soon as we began to talk again. I fell for her all over again. And, I told myself that I didn't want to lose her again. Since second chances come around seldomly. The problem is that since we first met she's been through a hell hole that I'm having a hard time getting over. She previously was in an abusive and unstable relationship. Her ex-boyfriend was mentally unstable. And, he took her and made her do very rough stuff that took her months to build up the courage to be able to open up to me. But, now that I know all these things. I'm having a hard time dealing with them internally.

Possible trigger:

Pretty much he would emotionally abuse her, physically, and mentally. He took her from her family pretty much forcing her into a position where she had nowhere to go. He tore her down completely. He would force her daily to commit sexual intercourse with him against her will. And, because of his instability. They were financially unstable and had a hard time making ends meet. At one point he pretty much convinced her to become a high class escort. She did this for roughly 4 months with about 10 guys.

Even though I know that all of this was pretty much him taking advantage of the situation and manipulating her into doing this. I'm having an extremely hard time dealing with all of this internally. She now deals with depression and has a hard time finding motivation day to day. Every day is a struggle for her. She tells me how much she regrets doing all of that and that she has a hard time respecting herself and hold her head high. My problem is that I'm having a hard time finding the strength to not only help her. But, to help myself. As much as I hate to think about it. Those things weight heavy on my mind. She truly is a beautiful and very good woman. I know that she would have never willingly done any of those things. And, unfortunately she loved a man who was broken and pretty much ended up breaking her in the process. She's an extremely loyal person who commits to the people she loves. And, he knew the extent of her loyalty and used it for his own selfish benefit. How can I get over all of this? Not just for myself. But, for her as well? How can I let go of her past and stop letting it bring me down?