I can so empathisize with you. I always fret about the coming grief when T and I part. In fact, I cannot even imagine it. I have got him promising he will always see me as long as he is working still and I hope even afterwards we can stay in touch somehow. Very unrealistic of me, I might add. Just this last week I decided to see him less because I feel I am ridiculously dependent upon him but that decision only lasted two hours! Actually my situation is a little more complicated than that because I can't seem to get over feeling in love with him. It is not a "nice" feeling in love. Rather I feel sick much of the time with extreme jealousy towards both him (he is so well-loved) and those in his personal life (wife, etc.) . I am continually trying to look for emotional things from the relationship ... like soul-to-soul bonding and hugs and nurturing ... that just don't belong there. Every time I look for him to love me in a personal way and he does not (because he is my therapist! duh!) I feel in pain. At this point, I feel noone will ever love me. I am middle-aged. I do not want to live without love anymore. I have for most of my entire life. I keep trying to do the impossible with T because there is no chance for love for me anywhere else. It is very painful anyway. I leave therapy sessions so hopeless because, once again, I have seen the truth that no man would ever love me, really.