You are the one in denial right now! I have been in your shoes you think you aren't having issues you think you're fine you think so many things but none of them are true. You need to distract yourself away from these thoughts, Call someone you love tell them what is wrong you may need to go to the hospital you need medication do you want to be this way forever? I have seen you on here before posting these delusional thoughts not only will you scare others who are delusional like you but these posts can trigger people! You need to chill out and get some help it will be ok once you get help they will work with you and you won't have to suffer these kind of thoughts anymore
Don't be afraid!