Just to be safe trigger warning......




Visiting my family tonight and my mother put on some old home videos, one of which was at a birthday party and I was playing in a game of football with my family that included my cousin. It took me off guard because he was at the age that I most remember the abuse. It also had my head spinning with how could I act so normal, why would I play the game with him involved, how could I be having so much fun with him right there? There is so much shame and guilt and confirmation that in some way it was my fault because I kept the secret so well. Just to see me behaving like a normal happy child like there wasn't this horrendous secret is mind boggling and disgusting.

Anyone have similar thoughts or experiences?