It's kind of difficult to know where to start without it being an extremely long ask for help. Myself and my partner have been together for 8yrs we both have Bpd and anxiety. For the first 3/4yrs our sex life was great but the past 5yrs I have struggled with any intimate contact. I was referred to sexual psychotherapy and attended 6 sessions after that she thought that I was not ready and the sessions came to an end. Needless to say I was 'not fixed'. This obviously causes problems within the relationship as he always feels rejected and in his words as a man it's a need for him. He is struggling at the moment with various other things happening in our life so is more needy than ever and unfortunately I push him away without realising. It has come to a point where we are both considering going our separate ways. I love him dearly but he cannot see that, he believes love is a package and our relationship is just like a friendship. I know I could just consent to sex but I feel that would be no different to problems in my past and it wouldn't be what I wanted. Even if it did happen I couldn't be certain it would be regular for him and it would just be an act. I have tried speaking to him about this but we go round in circles and he ends up blaming me because I withhold sex. Any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for taking the time to read it.