Don't you mean a 180? Doing a 360 would mean that I made a complete circle

Don't worry, I'm here for the long haul. I don't intend on going anywhere anytime soon

Metaphorically speaking, I don't think that I will ever be fully free from the darkness. It has become part of who I am. It has become in essence, my soul, my very being. I've relied on the darkness for so long for survival and I've been denied love and compassion for so long, that endless void of my own mind and the very means to survive are all that I know.

I also don't think that I will ever be fully 100% happy. About the only time that I'm even remotely content is when I'm alone with my own thoughts, ideas, and fantasies and even then the pain that I feel daily makes it impossible for me to be happy then. I might be able to find a middle ground sometime in the future to where I can feel at least somewhat content most of the time, but feeling actual happiness will likely never happen for me.

With that being said, however, I think that I still can be brought further to the light but it would take a long journey full of trials and further pain to do so. A good therapist and somebody to show me enough love and compassion might be just enough to bring me far enough in to where I might be able to love and trust in a somewhat healthy way again, but the darkness has become a part of me which would make it impossible to fully remove without killing me.