I don't have enough energy to be supportive right now. It's a struggle day to day to help myself. I'm sorry. I'm sooo tired. Too much happening in my life and I don't know how to deal with it all. This next month is not going to be fun.

I'll try to not disappear though...

I just want the stupid thoughts that tell me lies to stop. I want to not worry about doing something stupid. I don't want to switch addictions just because I'm trying to not SI.

Mostly I just want to curl up somewhere and sleep the rest of my life away. How come this has to be so hard? I've cried too much. No more, please. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling dependent and useless and worthless and just bad. I know it can't be entirely true, but it hurts so much.

Everyones leaving. I guess it doesn't matter.

I want to stop my life for a moment. Please. I want the moodswings to stop. I want to feel better and like I have control... I don't. It's hopeless. I'm stupid. Sorry for being a waste of time, space, and energy.