Is there no way you can escape "life" for a bit (without self harming?) Do you have a hobby that "takes you away" or maybe going to the movies???? You deserve a break for yourself. It's ok. Try not to be so involved in all that is happening IRL, odds are most of it will go right on... and you can't control it all anyway?

((((canders))) Don't beat yourself up over all the stuff going on.... be gentle, you're doing ok