I'm going to taper with what I have halving pills but it doesn't give me a lot to taper. I'm sick and tired of the whole system. I'm sick of feeling trapped in it like any move I make can/will hospitalize me. I'm sick of people "knowing what's best" for me. Of not telling me **** for "my best interest". I'm sick of weekly appointments, weigh ins, Dr visits and nurses visits. I'm sick of " what thoughts are you having?", the medicab and insurance telling me no. I'm sick of every word I say being weight against others reality. Im sick of withdraw every time i forget my meds. I'm a ****ing adult without a criminal history treated like a child that everyone fears. I'm willing to keep the abilify shot but knowing insurance won't let me.

Maybe I'm in episode
Maybe it's that the medicab didn't pick me up and all the **** I had to do to fix that
Maybe it's because t never had a conversation about the PD nos even though he dx me in July
Maybe it's that insurance keeps denying my shot.
Maybe because of last Tuesday
Maybe because I don't see t for another 3 wks
Or who knows what else.

I know I have to live with this my whole life but I don't have to live with it inside the mental health system.