Hi I'm new here. Hello everyone. I am reaching out for some sort of extra support or help with schizoaffective disorder, anxiety, and depression.

I do not currently see a counselor. I am very nervous to write in this forum but here goes:

I seem to be confused all the time and I feel like I'm not all there yet I'm aware of it somehow. I feel like every day is hard to go through and even fixing my hair is hard or making food. I had a rough past and some traumatic experiences.

I am currently in a new relationship with a man I love for 9 months and Iive with him and his mom. It's difficult to let him know how I really feel like which is very confused. I feel alone and separated from everyone and I function every day but I think and analyze EVERYTHING SO MUCH. I am constantly picking apart everything everyone says and does to see me what it means. Like everything has a hidden bad meaning...

I don't work. I just paint paintings to sell. That's all I can do now. It seems like everything stresses me and makes my heart pound. No one knows how bad I really feel and I am screaming inside. I just really am writing here so someone can hear me and maybe offer some help. I'm not the best at communicating this type of stuff.

I just mainly feel aware of being " out there" mentally but unable to change it....

I am so nervous to talk to anyone in person bc I already feel judged before I get there and it makes me upset. I have no friends and I mainly just like being by myself or with him but any other people make it hard for me and I feel shut down like why even bother anymore....

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