((((safe hug)))) enigmatic, you say you don't want anyone to know, but we know now and we can give you support and maybe show you that we won't treat you any differently than "normal."

A T can help you take time with yourself and your fears and memories. You have been retraumatized by the vivid memories, imo. Don't push yourself to heal ... don't go too fast... a T can help you work on things in a good order and slowly enough to where you won't be continuously triggered while you heal.

First of all, believe it's real. Forget about the false memories stuff. Yes, it happens, but it doesn't seem like this is your path, ok? No, the brain doesn't recall everything perfectly but a T can help you sort through how you feel about whatever did happen. It doesn't really matter (to others) just what exactly happened, but that something terrible did, and you need to heal. You deserve to heal, and feel normal.

I think you are describing things quite well. Please don't work on this too much more, or so much at once... try to allow whatever thoughts or bad dreams just "be" and continue with your life. The mind has a way of showing you what you need... I do hope you find the strength to tell your parents you feel something happened and would like to see a psychologist to talk about it.