Hi Gerber
Your post really struck a cord with me. I too am bp II,recently diagnosed and since the diagnosis,Ive had the "defective" or as I would call it,Fu(#ed.
Id say to my inner dialogue was""get ahold of yourself,keep it together".... and when I couldnt, I seen myself as a loser who cant control her moods or her emotions.This creates suicidal feelings......because you feel like its a life sentence.That roller coaster you know?The one with no breaks?
Well,I hope this helps to know your not alone....I dont know what the future will bring but keep posting theres a lot of support out there.
Feel free to pm,take care