Thanks for the input. I was too ashamed to even look at this post after I wrote it. I did call my therapist that day, but she didn't have any openings. I was ready to do myself in. I had a session the following day and I told my therapist. It was very hard. I have lost trust, and can't believe I did what I did. Thank you much, sctosbhoy, however I am not one to blame my past or my troubles on mistakes I make now. I'm an adult, I may have been impulsive or not thinking, but I also need to own up to the decision I make. I don't make excuses based on my past or mental issues. My therapist sort of said the same thing, but I won't believe her either. I cannot make excuses for bad behavior. I can't believe I did what I did. I knew she'd find out. In a way, I think it was my sick way to share it with her without actually telling her. I couldn't tell this friend, even though I really wanted to. Thinking back, it's as if I knew that if I did this, she would find out and I wouldn't have to tell her.

One thing this has taught me is I NEVER want to touch them again. I think so far, I've done great. My friend threatened to call the police, and have me sent in for forced help. I honestly think I just got all the help I needed. But I have lost a friend because of it. She won't forgive me, and I don't blame her.