I still haven't talked to my therapist about the nature of my feelings for her, but they are just getting stronger and stronger. I don't want her to be disgusted with me because right now she is literally the only support person I have. I know she is a Christian and she is straight, but I don't know what her beliefs are about sexuality. I am so mixed up and confused. Even though I know how much my conservative upbringing has hurt me, and I can't even bring myself to go to church anymore because I find so much about christianity so harsh and judgemental, I am having a hard time letting go of it. It's been so deeply ingrained in me, and for a long time I found a lot of comfort in my faith. I just know that if I decide I am gay, it will totally change the way my family looks at me. And I still feel a great deal of shame about being sexual at all, never mind trying to figure out if I am straight or gay.