I've been thinking a lot lately about who I am and what I'm all about. Before I started down the medication path I thought I had a fairly firm grasp on those questions. Now however I find that I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm flirting with the idea of being taken off my meds. I miss my wild self. I'm Bipolar 2 and have Borderline Personality Disorder. There are definitely things the meds help with that I don't miss but I feel as though I've lost my sense of self and my own personal power. I have a therapist and a new psychiatrist. I've been on meds off and on since 2005. I've been taking them steadily with no alcohol in my system for two years now and I just feel like I'm someone else living my life. I'm fortunate enough to live in Michigan which has medicinal marijuana but at this time I'm on probation so I can't use it. I have a little over a year left of probation. I'm not sure I can stay medicated for that much longer. I'm afraid that if I go off my meds I'll start drinking again and when I drink all hell breaks loose - hence the being on probation. I don't know what to do. I'm tired of feeling like I'm someone else.