My grandmother and I were extremely close. When she passed it sent me full force into depression where I woud be constantly crying, I was even crying at work. I saw my pdoc who put me on klonopin for only 30 days (he's not a fan of benzos, only in extreme cases). In addition, I did group therapy which was offered at the library and it really helped to talk to others who were going through similar issues. But I also went into individual counseling which helped so much. The pain is still there, I still have dreams about her, but I got better. Bereavement with bipolar is hard, but the counseling really helped me process my feelings. I would look into that. I know you can get through this. It's hard, but I'm sure you're a strong woman since you're still functional, albeit not at the level you would like, but you still are.