Quote:
Originally Posted by crosstobear
You survive it by setting boundaries.
You: "Hey bae, you know I have feelings for you and you have feelings for me. And you claim to be miserable in your relationship with this guy. So, dump him and move on to me. You have 2 days."
Girl: "But... but... it's so hard to make this decision."
You: "Two days."
There's a reason she's seeing it through with this guy and not going for you. Either she's not as miserable as she says she is with this guy (people complain for attention and validation) or she sees him as a better relationship prospect than you. Either way, you give an ultimatum (for rhetorical purposes) and move on. Have some self-respect and put your dignity above everything else. You're going to ruin your confidence being stuck in this sort of thing. Just my two cents- been there, done that, learned the lesson and grew stronger.
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Sure sounds like the right thing to do. Then I stop and say - "but I can't live without her." We have broken off this "non-relationship" too many times - both her - and I! It fails every time - and we're back together.
Ultimatum - I'm not strong enough. Sure there are plenty of fish. But our joining came so easily and so naturally I cannot NOT be a friend ...and you know where that ends up leading to.
I know every time one "falls in love" it's "Oh, so different from any other" ... technically it is true, though - because each human being has their own particular qualities and quirks - so every "love" is different. I have compared current feelings with past loves - and find that it most closely compares to my longest term girlfriend relationship in my 20s (not a "teenage crush" - not "oh time to get married" - not "an obsession") but such perfect closeness, so "in-tune" with each other - why would I want to let it go without continuing to try - until the very last moment, and maybe even beyond. I'm over the big 50 - I ain't gonna get many more of these!
