And I honestly mean that. I believe that I've been slowly developing anxiety over the past six years or so. It most likely started after severe verbal and physical bullying that occurred throughout all of middle school. I've been fairly good at shrugging it off, with anxiety attacks only hitting when something reminds me of how I felt back then. I am currently eighteen years old, and I'm trying my best to enjoy my senior year of high school. However, that's starting to look impossible.

99% of my time is eaten up by schoolwork. 99% of my time is also eaten up by constant worry about my schoolwork/homework, expectations, friends, and my future career plans.

It doesn't help that my dad has (quite literally overnight) become completely dead to me. He won't speak to me (hasn't in four days), won't react to anything I say to him, and leaves the house and doesn't come home until a ridiculous time of night (as in 2 am or so). And yet, he constantly dotes on me to other people about how proud he is of me (he has a funny way of showing it, huh?).

My mom won't do anything about it, and just shrugs it off as him "being a man", as she says. She's also the type of parent who believes that today's society is too "soft" and "wimpy". As a result, she refuses to believe that I could have any sort of issues, saying that I just need to "buckle down and get over it". Believe me, I would if I could.

Ranting aside, I'm also seeing things out of the corners of my eyes, including a very distinct, tall shadow that I nicknamed Anxiety. I've never seen anything out front, just out of my peripheral vision. I've also been hearing things, such as a woman whispering in my ear, and someone calling my name. I don't know if these are symptoms of anxiety, or something worse.

Now, why can't I get help for this issue? A few big, sorry reasons:
1: My mom has too much on her mind already, and would never believe me.
2: We don't have the money to afford therapy or counseling, and
3: We don't have (nor can we afford) health insurance.

So basically, I've been sent down the river without a paddle. It's really starting to hurt me; I barely eat, can't sleep for more than 2-3 hours a night, and don't feel like doing the things that I love the most.

Why have I overloaded you with this information? Because I don't know what to do. Any kind of advice, coping strategies, or anything of the sort would be greatly appreciated. I'm not asking for a diagnosis, just advice on how to deal with anything I've talked about.