If you can't find it in yourself to be responsible and take your meds as prescribed, I would give them to your husband and have him dispense them to you. I'm sure that's not something you would want to do, but if you can't be an adult and do it on your own you need additional help. Like a previous poster said, it sounds like you're addicted to the instability. It might be fun for you but I'm sure it's hell on the people around you. Good luck.