I am saying that our personalities are not integrated, so upon exposure to the "target" person, the normal part of me would want a relationship because of what the culture tells us are the rewards (being not alone, sex, etc). But if the relationship begins,upon longer term exposure to it, the SPD portion of me (which is the biggest and most powerful part) takes over and finds the relationship repellant and anxiety-producing, so the exit strategy (which can be difficult and painful) is executed, leaving the SPD person alone again, feeling better.