sidony - i'm hurting. thank you for being so understanding and compassionate. i'm scared...i've never done these abusive sexual things before. i don't know why i'm doing them now. it like the ultimate self abuse for me...but i don't know why now? i feel like im fallng completely apart....a couple months ago i had it all together - and now i'm

sidony, you're an angel for putting up with me!

if i couldn't post these horrible things here i think i would die...i'm sorry if i offend anyone reading these posts