i have hardly hurt myself all year
just the odd cut or burn
but in a major 'cycle now
CAN'T go to bed without burning
HAVE to- to feel the physical pain
know all the 'rational' stuff
e.g. using ice; waiting for a minute, then 5, then 10 etc
but it doesn't work
making myself physically ill with everything too- unintentionally
arm so scarred
getting infected but don't care
too scared to admit it to suport ppl
but will tomorrow
see t tomorrow
she will ask for sure
what to say?
arm such a mess
better to just cut it off
would look better than it does now
stop me hurting it
deep
little pain
just temporary relief
have to stop
want to stop but urges too great
away tomorrow for 'respite'
stupid boss would only agree to reduced hours, as staffing ratios an issue
taken too much time off already for family reasons
can't let them down any more
but have to stop
bad cycle
what will kids think when they see it all
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