Quote:
Originally Posted by snoozysnooze
It's not that the world disappears or that I lose touch with the world around me. It's more like no one can stop me from my goal. I can't wait to get to the point in my day when I can text or call or meet up with the object of my affection. This incredible drive has led me to make very poor decisions in the past. It's like everything has to be right now. There is no consideration that it could be ok to wait. There is no thought about the consequences until it's too late. sometimes it's fine, sometimes it's not.
I have definitely gotten bored with people. Or I don't understand why they can't see how hard I am trying while they're doing nothing. Or I get tired of taking care of them or any number of reasons. I was married at 21 and divorced at 32. I stayed faithful to my husband the whole time. but I did have lots of friendships that were intense. but I would rarely ever have sacrificed my job, or my apartment, or lots of things- for just a friend.
Now, I can honestly say I wouldn't behave that way in the future if I were ever single again.
I have learned quite a few things over the last few years. Trust being the number one thing. Complete trust and faith in my partner and learning to trust myself and BELIEVING I am worth so much- I shouldn't just give it away.
Having a diagnosis and being able to use medication that actually helps is huge for me. Having a scientific reason instead of a character defect is helpful for my soul.
I am really glad you are getting something out of this exchange- I know I am.
What stands out as something you do or don't do that shows the difference between ADHD and non-ADHD? I hope that makes sense  |
Thank you again for replying it means alot
ahh okay so is like a runaway train that is unstoppable and if you get in the way you'll get hurt? Say if someone tried to come between you and the person you're hyperfocusing on would you feel like that obstacle needs to be removed in order to obtain your goal? If so i get what you mean now i've been looking at it as a kinda distraction from everything else when actually it's just an intense desire.
My cousin does the same where he will literally count the minutes till the end of work so he can text his girlfriend. It is very intense i often joke with him saying i need to book an appointment to talk to him cause he spends 24/7 with her, either in person, texting, facetiming etc.
I can see how it has led to poor decisions it sounds like catch 22 where you could have the one person you want and achieve your goal or lose that person because of other life situations that mustn't be neglected. That is pretty cool how everything has to be now, that must a good motivation right? I mean i wish i had that i don't have ADHD so i try and 'structure' things by time but i get bored unless it's someone important to me i will go out of my way to make an effort.
That is literally like my friend who pretty much babysits her friends who don't pull their weight or make her feel like they don't care/like her etc. Do you think it is important to have friends or a relationship? Reason i ask is because you say that you wouldn't sacrafice important things for just a friend, do you find it easier to maintain relationships than friendships? If you don't mind me asking i am learning so much from you
Believing you're good enough is a HUGE factor, if you can accept yourself than there is no reason why others shouldn't. I agree being easy to get kinda diminishes your dignity a bit but again it's good to learn from all these experiences as you say you have been medicated so all your social situations must of gotten easier over the years.
Thank you so much i definately am learning i hope i can teach you a think or two from a non-ADHD'er perspective.
I think i understand does it mean that those with ADHD handle their life slightly different to non-ADHD'ers so who is to say what is right and wrong maybe we're wrong and the ADHD way of life is right. Then again whose to say if there is a wrong or right, the people that stand out are always unique and not sheep
Claire