I agree with LonesomeTonight, I assumed you'd (both) start small with pictures (visualized then moving on to concrete ones) and build up a hierarchy of fears. Didn't your T run through relaxation techniques as well, first off? And only then building up to higher level of fears (e.g. watching shows themselves).

I also assumed T would help you (as in, doing it together) not only to familiarize yourself but also help lessen feelings of panic and/or feeling overwhelmed...

Please, definitely get back to T. Could you also ask her to start 'smaller' so to speak. It's like you're already jumping at the deep end...and on your own.

Still, congrats for doing it and trying though, and on your own at that!