hi dazemaze

Seeming different from everyone else is a common experience among depressed people. Our life experience is not theirs simply because the mentally well. Have not suffered from depression. But you will fit in with the people in this forum, because like you. They have depression.
There is Nami the Association for the mentally ill and by googling them and getting through to their headquarters you will find out whether they have peer-to-peer that is depressed person-to-depressed person support groups within reasonable traveling distance of where you live. I believe they also run WRAP which is the wellness recovery action plan which enables people to construct in an eight week course a plan to keep themselves well. In these groups. You will be meeting people in the same boat as ourselves.

I don't like parties either a lot of depressed people don't. It is far better doing something we enjoy. There are a lot of hypocritical people. But we are people who stand by our values and standards and live by them. Too many people just give into their instincts and lead self-indulgent lives, whether it be sex or alcohol or whatever. We don't have to join them.

Since you enjoy doing things at home that is the way to go. I am a home bird also. So is my wife.
I think you are quite talented. You have a very good command of English can write very well and express yourself very well. I'm sure you have many other talents also which will emerge as you reflect on all of the different things that you can do.
However, you cannot say that your life will never get better. Simply because we can't predict the future. At one time my depression was very bad but I didn't think I would ever get better. But then I got the therapy tools necessary to work at and it did get better so life is a bit better now. Thank God.

I can see from the way you write and express yourself that you are in fact highly intelligent and could well end up with a very good job. And please God you will get good friends also.

It is useful to have a purpose in life. Something you feel passionate about. That could be a charitable cause, or indeed something that really fired you up in the past. Connecting with those things would make your life feel so much better.

I'm sorry you have been bullied. But bullies are in fact very insecure people and feel the need to intimidate other people to bolster up their very fragile egos. Since you don't drink and don't want to do the things the rest do The thing is to be independent and follow just what you believe to be right and believe me there are other people in the world who feel as you do. You would be able to make friends with other depressed people where you live. Those Nami groups. I was talking about would contain people just depressed like ourselves and give you the opportunity to make new friends.

The thing is, we cannot read other people's minds and so don't know what they really do think about us and very often they are so wrapped up in their own affairs that they aren't even aware of us. When they are being nice. There is always the chance that they actually mean it. Do you think sometimes it is worth giving them the benefit of the doubt?

Antidepressants do take the edge off depression and help most people. However, to really recover you need to see a therapist to get the skills to manage the depression. Take care. I hope and pray you have a really great day. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis