PC! Please I need you now more then ever!

My problems are getting so severe lately! I've always been such an openly loving person, giving, and giving, in my own way as much love as I can telling ppl I love them and I do! And most of all giving them compliments they deserve!

Well lately I feel so so alone, crying almost for no reason, I've gotten alot in my mind about bad things happening I force my self into the terror I most hate! God I'm not making sense..I don't know how to explain it.......I feel as if I rush for someone to get them something, tell them something, give them something, but I never am rushed for.

I Have no one in real life to lean on! My therapist is awaay. And my other therapist e-mailed me wanting me to come back since he is back......who do I trust.....I TRUST TO EASILY! I give so much out..in so little time hoping praying for a friend.. a parnet, a companion, and im so young, these bee stings hurt so BAD!

I'm allergic to the world....I'm slowly fading in a mirrior and sinking in a ocean full of tears all mine! When will I find a "thing" to hold onto, a person to grasp for another breath, why are my tears bleeding for happiness.......I don't know what happiness is........I'm so terrible...I'm so wrong...I dont understand humanity...but we none do...i guess I just can't even "tolerate" it......I can't move in the crowds..nor whisper with the yelling...I'm so distant.......so afraid.....im so cold in sweat.....yet hot as hell as the devil wishes to burn me into another soldier...I'm so scared.....God help me......................................save me...............im sinking....................PLEASE!