Hi all, I am feeling kind of down and isolating today. I was the opposite yesterday.. which was really action filled, with drama and seeing family and dealing with lots of stuff. Just wondering if anyone else has these days? Its not that I stay in bed, i just enjoy being alone and doing 'me' and taking that time.

Today I am working at home and just isolating, kind of happy but kind of guilty about it. My bf understands, although we have tentative plans later ..., and i really dont know if i can make it. I feel a tad guilty b/c of the timing. I also have my TOM coming today or tomorrow, so sometimes i feel entitled to a down day, to work at home (thankfully i have that option). I just think sometimes I take allot of down time or that I need more then the average person.. I guess It is something to bring up w/ my therapist. My prior therapist always had to remind me: There is nothing wrong w/ taking time for myself. It helps me to recharge, and I just wish i was able to enjoy it more. I have plans to make a nice dinner, which cheers me up... I was sad that it didn't rain, b/c then i felt like i had more of an excuse to stay home. I had a little stressful email, and i started to cry...

Then,... tried to go out into the world - and just running an errand felt hard and I feel totally ridiculous that this is the case. I see so many other people doing 'life' and im like- what the heck!! What is wrong w/ me? Why am i only comfortable isolating? Will i ever feel normal? Am i some weird outcast of society... or is it natural to have these ebbs and flows of energy.... and craving solo time. Even going on a walk or getting nails done (solo) is incredibly scary for me sometimes... I wish it wasn't that way.

Perhaps it is just my style, and there is nothing wrong w/ taking time-outs... and slowly building up to the point where I can do these things alone, and it wont freak me out soo much.... who knows.

All that said: thank god for chocolate ice cream....