Well, I am new to this forum, so this is a first response. I have had experiences with control and lack of control. I have heard many different theories, from getting off before, so you last longer etc.... I have found over the years it is easiest to slow down, take your time and focus on your partner. Most will respond to this, it helps with connection, start with the senses and work your way to fulfilling there need. When they've gotten what they need then take your time or not and get what you need, release. Also if you communicate this, it will make her feel special and heighten her pleasure, because she will know your invested. Oh, and eye contact helps too, rhythm, breathing and mechanics work together; look up things on tantric and the Kama Suthra; they are helpful.