Love is NOT

controlling or being controlled by another in[*] what your spiritual/religious beliefs are[*]being allowed to practise those beliefs as you see fit[*]who you are allowed to have as friends[*]who you are allowed to see and who you are not allowed [*]being made to or making someone choose between you and a dear friend or family member(s) [*]to not trust the other person implicitly[*]to always need to know what they've been doing, where and why[*]to not respect their wants and wishes[*]to consistently put your own priorities at the top until they give up their own priorities
to manipulate them by[*]telling a lie, half-truth or withholding information to fix an outcome[*]to turn on the tears or anger or give ultimatums to change or fix an outcome[*]to spy on the other person or any of their family and friends[*]to use such information with malice and intent to divide and/or hurt[*]to insist on your wants regardless of the pain it may cause others[*]to hold over or use something, mental, emotional or physical, to control their behavior[*]to try and change who they are into your own perception of who they "should" be[*]to accomplish the change regardless of how the other person feels about it or the pain it causes them or others
[*]to strike, punish or intimidate in any form!

Main Entry: 2respect
Function: transitive verb
1 a : to consider worthy of high regard : ESTEEM b : to refrain from interfering with

Main Entry: 2esteem
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: Middle English estemen to estimate, from Middle French estimer, from Latin aestimare
1 archaic
2 a : to view as : CONSIDER <esteem it a privilege>
3 : to set a high value on : regard highly and prize accordingly

Main Entry: 1trust
Function: noun
Pronunciation: 'tr&st
Etymology: treowe faithful -- more at TRUE
1 a : assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b : one in which confidence is placed

Main Entry: 2trust
intransitive senses (intransitive verb)
1 a : to place confidence : DEPEND <trust in God> <trust to luck> b : to be confident : HOPE
transitive senses
1 a : to commit or place in one's care or keeping : ENTRUST b : to permit to stay or go or to do something without fear or misgiving
2 a : to rely on the truthfulness or accuracy of : BELIEVE b : to place confidence in : rely on c : to hope or expect confidently

Without these, there is no love. There is too much dependency, insecurity in oneself or the other person; there is CONTROL, MANIPULATION and OWNERSHIP... which are NOT love.