I'd say the first step is unraveling what remnants remain that your ex holds on you. OCD doesn't discount a woman from putting in an effort to be a kind, caring, attentive mum. Ick on him! He's clearly not partner material to say such things.
The women that I know that wound up without children were because of health reasons.
There's men out there looking and willing.
It's a matter of putting that chapter of your life aside. I have also known many women closer to 40 who've had remarkably loveable and healthy children.