I don't really get into mh with my friends. However, our friendships involve a bit of give and take. Two sided. I don't personally appreciate clinginess in friendships, so any form of guilt or selfish behavior would push me away, as that's a definite sensitivity that I've carried over from my family of origin issues/baggage.
It's not up to me to second guess their internal motivation, it's up to them to be forthcoming, if they desire. Same in return.
Sorry to read that your friend isn't stepping up to the plate to sort out better communication skills. Not to tiptoe around, but at least ask how you are and stop and really listen.
Do you have a talk therapist to talk about these changes in perspectives with? Sounds like you are growing from this experience.