What I really don't want to tell her is that it is starting to feel like a sexual attraction. There is no way I could ever tell her that. I would just die of shame. Even saying that it feels like a romantic attraction is bad enough. It makes me have to question my sexual identity, because I'm female too. It's terrifying to think that I might be gay (no offence against anyone who is). While I don't go to church anymore, I was raised in a very strict, conservative christian family, and there is so much judgement in my family, and I feel like that judgemental worldview is still clinging to me, digging its claws into me, even though i want to shake it off. No one in my family would understand. My therapist is straight, and married, and she is a christian, although I don't know where she stands on the issue. I just don't want her to think that when I've asked for hugs that I am coming on to her. I've been attracted to guys before, but (GASP!) I've never been in a relationship. I don't know if I ever will be able to be in a relationship, because I'm just so messed up about sex. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I could be attracted to females. I just haven't been able to admit it to myself because the ramifications are so frightening.