Boy I can feel my age today. It's depressing because it reminds me that I don't have the energy level I want to have for life in general. Man when I think of how fast time went by it makes me curse my own mortality. In the mirror I can see the wrinkles of time and they are not kind. Trouble is I spent much of my youthful years either sedated by drugs or panic stricken by my surroundings. So here I am much older and still hoping to fulfill some kind of missed opportunity. I fear regret is all I might eventually have - I just know that something is lost in the murky waters of time. Recently, I've noticed some trouble recalling names and places - people remind me its just age but I hate it because it just reminds me how far I've come without really living. I've always thought I was generally an intelligent person with something to give to society. That potential has yet to leave the closet and now I'm battling the fatigue and gray reflection that comes with age. What I want is a miracle, something that will replace the granite in my head with gold. I want pictures of people I knew not blank canvasses. I want to laugh. I want.