I read these forums every night but I haven't been participating because I can't afford mental treatment, so I don't know what my diagnosis is - if I even have one - but I wonder about something...

Do you feel as if you able to fool others?

Specifically, are you able to behave in front of others in a way as to portray a calm, collected, "normal" demeanor? Do you have the ability to infuse those you have contact with the notion that you are well put together, that you have everything under control?

If so, do you think this ability to "act" is beneficial, or a detriment to your overall well-being?

I have always been able to project an air that leads others to believe that I am in excellent shape when, internally, I am a complete catastrophe. Even my wife thinks I am well put-together. So much so that she has a hard time accepting that I am not.

Does it ever cause you to consider that you are, in fact, just fine?

I must be crazy if I feel that I am suffering from an illness when , in fact, I am not.

I wish I could afford an evaluation. But I wonder if I could trust the diagnosis.