Attachment to people and abandonment
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If life has taught me anything, it is that I need to learn to enjoy my own company, because I cannot make someone like me In other words, I am alone as much as a person can possibly be alone, and I have no choice in the matter.

In the past, my assessment of the situation was - I'm a loser, I'm repulsive, I don't deserve these people in my life, these people hate me.

Today, my assessment is more along the lines of - I know my strengths and weaknesses some of which others are unable to tolerate, I'm a child of God, I am proud of myself, others probably don't understand the depths of me, others have their own flaws, human interaction is complex and governed by many unwritten or misunderstood rules.

If someone "abandons" you, it may not be YOU that is the reason. It may be the other persons own insecurities (and believe me, everyone has some). And, this possibly applies even to the therapists who have stopped seeing you. Think about it from their shoes - is it possible that they simply do not have the patience or skills required to work with you ? Maybe they are used to dealing with less intelligent or less complex people and they cannot understand you.

Again, back to the point of not taking it personally. That girl in DBT group didn't reject YOU, she rejected a person she did not feel comfortable talking to because she was married and felt her boundaries were being crossed. That could have been any other guy in group.

Also, more importantly, no matter how many people abandon you, if you keep a positive attitude and hold the faith that you can and will be loved and appreciated, you will discover that this world has an infinite supply of people Go out there and find em ! Whether they are in coffee shops, grocery stores, Meetup groups, bars, or DBT clinics, wherever.

Everybody makes mistakes. No one is born knowing how to interact. The great thing is ... no matter how much you screw up, you always have one more chance (or a thousand more chances) because there are more people out there for you to meet and practice interacting with ! One rejects you, you keep your head up and move on to the next Some of us are luckier than others, some of us have to work our butts off.

Keep smiling, keep trying, keep learning from past mistakes. This is one area where there are no hard and fast rules ... you have to figure this one out by practice and persistence.

Self-esteem definitely helps draw people closer to us. But it has to come from deep within us. So, whatever is deep in there causing us pain has to be dealt with. I've discovered that my self-esteem derives simply from me knowing my strengths and weaknesses. Figure out what makes you confident ... on the days that you DO feel confident, what's different ?

And once again, please don't give anyone a remote control with buttons that link telepathically to your brain. No one in this world has the authority to declare you a reject or outcast or whatever ... that is, no one but YOU !