Dear T

A week ago was our session. Normally I would have session today, but you're on vacation. In a beautiful country, probably with your boyfriend and daughter. I'm here, all alone. I'm jealous on you. It hurts so much. You have so much, I have so little. I won't ever know how it feels so be happy. Or content. I know you think things can get better for me. At least you say that, but what do you really think?

I should talk to you about this. But it's so hard. Because it's also about you.
I'm once again thinking that it's better to quit with therapy. And also to quit with pdoc and meds. There's nothing that will make me feel better. I've been feeling like this for 1 year and 8 months now. So the last two months I've felt a little less bad. But I'm starting to go back to how I felt before these anti-depressant.

3 more weeks. How am I going to get through that?