Hi Glitter kitten

You have in fact done very well, getting the bipolar under control. I have spoken to a couple of people suffering from this, and they have confirmed that high levels of anxiety spark off mania.

Something that might help in this situation would be to do the breath meditation, which involves closing the eyes focusing on the breath coming in and out noticing intrusive thoughts not trying to get rid of them and bringing your focus back to your breath. This should be done twice a day for at least 10 minutes. So that having done this for a week or so when you feel anxious focusing on your breath will bring feelings of relaxation.

Beating up on ourselves is pointless if only makes us feel worse and delays recovery. Perhaps asking ourselves what we would do with someone in our position would help. We would be sympathetic and tell them to go easy and give themselves a break. We need to do that for ourselves.

Coincidentally, I do have GAD also. But I what do with it. Is to use acceptance and commitment therapy. You can Google that and self-help literature on that would be available. Hopefully in the public library and on Amazon or eBay. I say to myself, I am experiencing anxiety and observe this feeling as it passes through the mind and goes away and keep doing this for as long as the anxiety lasts and it always does go away. Trying to get rid of these feelings, research has revealed doesn't work, but just makes them come back again. Even stronger. Of course, while doing this. I just get on with the business of the day. Going back on medication would be helpful. And when you feel strong enough you could gradually reduce the dosage.

When you are alone in the house like that is the time to start using these coping strategies. Getting a grip on anxiety. First thing in the morning. Usually means the rest of the day goes much better. Also keeping herself busy at those times takes the focus away from anxiety.
Despite feelings to the contrary you make yourself do what you have to do, which takes perseverance, courage and true grit and you should feel good about being able to do that. But when you get the medication and start using your coping strategies things at work will become easier. I really hope and pray that all of this gets much better for you. Very quickly. Take care. Have a really great day. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis