Hi passionfruit. Welcome to Psych Central, sorry you are feeling so bad you tried self harm, but kudos for hanging in there and coping with the feelings and impulses without more harm.

Here is an article describing some of the myths of self harm and some coping methods that may be of interest. Self-Harm: The Myths & the Facts | Embracing Balance

Many people here at PC find they can share these feelings and what they are going through with the confidence that people go through similar things and can empathize. So many forums are offered as well as Chatrooms (after you have 5 posts or comments on others posts). Depression chat meets on Thursday night at 9pm EST and Anxiety Wednesday at 8PM.

You can also be an active member in other ways like supporting others in their questions, reading articles and posts http://forums.psychcentral.com that are applicable to your area of concern.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

I know how controlling things helps me cope. That is why I use this breathing exercise to keep from focusing on those wild thoughts. Here it is. Breathe naturally while silently counting 1 on the inhale, 2 on the exhale, 3 on the inhale...continuing up to 10. Then start at 1 again. The mind can only focus well on one thing at a time, so this helps me relax and refocus.