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Like I missed something I should have had and I'll never get it back.
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Because you did, and it's OK to be sad and pissed off about it. In fact you have a lot to be sad and pissed off about. You officially have permission to be as pissed off as you need to be!
I hope you find a way to keep it from running your life, though. A good counselor or therapist or just having people to talk to about it will help a lot with that.