sometimes i have triggers, other times i have none...like right now. well, maybe chronic stress for the last year and now finally being settled is it. i am not sure.

it feels lately like there are things deep inside that i cannot fully grasp, just the feelings, but barely..no link, nothing concrete. it's confusing and sometimes feels scary. not sure how to figure it out.

think i jinxed myself last night because i said something about how i'd rather hear/feel the others more instead of not. i don't know if it's just a coincidence today or not....but now i regret having said that because whatever it is right now is not really enjoyable.