I reckon it would all make more sense if I had been more specific.
I had asked if she believed the things I told her, or if maybe she thinks I exaggerate, and to that she replied that she thinks what I say is real to me. I was hurt because it went along with my thinking she doesn't believe me, and it also hurt because it's possibly the truth. Maybe it's all in my head and I just wallow in my own pity that's why I feel bad a lot of the time. She said she didn't mean it hatefully, and went more into what she meant. So like i said in the main post I told her that I thought I needed to hear it. Knowing that it's all in my head assures me that I'm okay. I told her it hurt my feelings, but I could cope better knowing it's not "real", and I told her I loved that she hurt me. Because now I can distance myself more easily.

What she said hurt me, and I wanted her to hate me anyways so I didn't have to go back. I also wanted someone to be honest, and whether or not she meant it how I interpreted it (which she says she didn't), it's what I wanted to hear. I don't want to need to have her around, or I'm afraid to have her around because in the end it will end, and as I have said in other posts she will fall off the edge of the earth with every one else sooner or later.