Today has been rough. I'm having issues with health insurance which will most likely result in a gap in coverage. The worst thing is not knowing though. If I knew for sure that this was going to happen, I could plan ahead and deal with it. But I don't know and I can't seem to find anyone who can actually tell me. So I've been sitting here thinking, "what do I do? do I cancel all my appointments? wait and see? but waiting is driving me crazy. I need to call someone to figure this out. but who? the insurance people don't seem to know anything." Stupid life.

And then I'm also freaking out because a person who I've been becoming friends with hasn't contacted me in a couple weeks. She was supposed to call me last week, but she's a busy person, and I didn't want to bother her, so today I texted her for the first time in two weeks. No response. Of course, my mind immediately goes to "she's avoiding me, I'm too crazy for her, I've been abandoned, I'm all alone again, I'm a worthless psycho piece of ****," and so on and so forth. I've been trying to find alternate reasons for her absence, but nothing seems as plausible as me being dropped and ignored. Life seems pointless most of the time. And I'm a crazy lunatic who can't make friends and who scares away the ones that are actually friendly.