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Nike007 · Aug 28, 2015, 03:12 AM

Hello. Just to let you know, there will be a lot of possibly triggering words in here so if you are sensitive to triggers, please stop reading.

Okay, so for the longest time (at least 2 years), I have a major fear of developing PTSD. I have never experienced something that would be considered traumatic according to the DSM-V, but why I am afraid of developing does. I have had dreams, very traumatizing ones, ones that probably are considered nightmares to people.

Possible trigger:

So the first dream (most are maladaptive dreams) I mainly had was of my family peacefully at a family reunion in LA and then suddenly the building is bombed and everyone but me dies. I don't need anyone on here to interrupt it (unless you really want to). I have find my own way without money, family, and the horrors of the event on my mind.

It's all very traumatizing in my head. I have never jolted from sleep because of it nor have woken up anxious or wide awake, but some nights I don't want to sleep because it.

Possible trigger:

A few more of the dreams included people I care for being kidnapped, gun shootings, near-death instances, being raped, tortured, stabbed, shot at, etc.. It is all really terrible and I get scared going places sometimes because of these events.

At the end of those dreams (as in the end of the traumatizing part of it), I have all the symptoms of PTSD. I know you may say "these are only dreams and they aren't real", which I know, but this is just reimbursing a fear I have. I live in fear that I may run into a traumatic even that will trigger PTSD. This is probably because of the GAD I have that this causing this fear, or a specific phobia, but I haven't truly had a normal dream for years now. I always get these fear dreams that I don't want.

The reason why I posted this today was because of what my mind was think of today.

Possible trigger:

I was cutting my grass because it needed to be done, but the entire time I was thinking of a traumatic event I made up. So as I would be cutting the grass a tic would land on me that is carrying Lyme disease and I would get it. I was sent to the hospital because I got Lyme disease. Then I was there for over 2 weeks. I was there longer, but not officially. After that time frame, I didn't get better so the doctors' said I would be better off dead so they faked my death. I was brought to the morgue room they have at the bottom of the hospital. I was still alive, just very weak. But one of the doctors was an illegal doctor and donated organs of people who were alive. So as I was weak, he would cut open me with no pain medicine, and take organs he needed. I would die several times a day, but he would always wake me up. This lasted three months until a new doctor was in the morgue and I banged on my doors that they store the dead bodies. The doctor opened it and immediately called the police. It was so scary. After the event, I had severe PTSD and I wouldn't be able to enter hospitals without getting severe panic attacks. It was so traumatic. This was all a dream, but it felt so real and.

So I was wondering what I should do? This isn't severe, but I get them occasionally, enough that I have several different traumatic dreams that I all end up with PTSD. I am so anxious about it I don't want to do a lot of things because it may make me get PTSD. Soon I will be able to get my driver's license(.)

Possible trigger:

, but I don't want to get PTSD and kill myself of someone else because of a car accident.

I am excited to get it, but also really anxious to get it.

Also, what to you think about this? I have never shared this with anyone before so I don't know what people will think. That's very nerve-wracking.

Thanks for the response

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